after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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