my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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