Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
