why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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