no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
