dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
