Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
