i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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