In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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