just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
