is your mom at the bar?
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize