Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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