i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There was a lot of him and a little penis
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
