i barfeds in our rink
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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