I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
