dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
