i just google imaged poop.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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