yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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