Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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