Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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