Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
