ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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