I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
