You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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