Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
