sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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