After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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