smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
