im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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