did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
