could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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