i would one night stand the shit outta him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
