ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
