I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Damn victory sex feels great
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize