We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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