i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
