Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize