I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize