After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
