If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
