it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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