my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize