...so i touched it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
