i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
