so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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