How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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