My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
