we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
