i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize