He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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