I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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