You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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