This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
