Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
