Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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