A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
