I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
