So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
