the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
