I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize